Valentine’s Day Is a Story We’ve Been Sold
Valentine’s Day Is a Story We’ve Been Sold
And It Has Nothing To Do With Our Lovability
Every February, the world turns red.
Hearts in shop windows. Prix-fixe menus. Diamond commercials. Social feeds filled with roses and grand gestures. And quietly, beneath all of it, a subtle question begins to pulse in many nervous systems:
Am I loved enough?
Before we go further, let’s gently untangle something.
Valentine’s Day is not a spiritual truth. It is not a measure of devotion. It is not a reliable barometer of the depth of your relationships.
It is a cultural construct that evolved over centuries and was heavily shaped by commercial interests in the 19th and 20th centuries. What began loosely around the legend of Saint Valentine became a romantic celebration in medieval Europe and, eventually, a marketing engine amplified by companies like Hallmark in the early 1900s.
That doesn’t make it wrong. It simply means it was built.
And something built by culture cannot determine your inherent worth.
How the Holiday Became a Pressure System
By the mid-20th century, advertising reframed love as something that should be publicly demonstrated and financially expressed.
Over time, the message became subtle but powerful:
If you are loved, someone will prove it on this day.
If no one proves it, something must be wrong.
For those in relationships, the pressure can feel immense.
For those single, divorced, widowed, healing, or in transition, it can feel like confirmation of an old wound.
But a marketing cycle is not a mirror of your soul.
What Gets Activated: The Inner Child
Valentine’s Day doesn’t create insecurity.
It reveals what is already tender.
For many, this day touches the younger parts inside who once asked:
• Am I chosen?
• Am I special?
• Why did they leave?
• What do I have to do to be loved?
Your inner child may not care about roses or reservations.
They do care about belonging.
When the world seems to be celebrating “being picked,” old attachment memories can surface. The part of you that felt overlooked. The part that learned to perform for love. The part that equated attention with safety.
And if that part feels loud this week, nothing has gone wrong.
It simply means she is asking to be seen.
Nervous System Truth
When comparison spikes, when rumination begins, when irritation or numbness shows up, this is not weakness.
It is activation.
Your system is remembering earlier experiences where love felt uncertain, conditional, or inconsistent.
A holiday that centers on romantic validation can easily press on those early imprints.
But here is the empowering truth:
Activation is an invitation to repair.
Love Is Not Measured in Public Performance
Love is not proven by how visible it is.
It is not defined by photos, gifts, or grand gestures.
Real love is measured by what happens over time.
Love lives in friendship, family, and romance like this:
• Showing up consistently
• Being emotionally present
• Repairing after conflict
• Creating safety
• Offering steady care
• Choosing someone again and again
True love is often quiet. Love is a verb.
It looks like sitting on the couch with presence.
The honest conversation.
The willingness to stay and work through something hard.
The hand that reaches for yours without an audience.
It does not need red roses to exist.
It does not need social media to validate it.
And it does not evaporate because a date on the calendar arrived.
Love is built in the ordinary moments.
And the ordinary moments are what make it real.
A Deeper Invitation
Instead of asking, Who is loving me today?
Gently ask, What does my inner child need from me today?
Does she need reassurance?
Does she need softness?
Does she need boundaries?
Does she need truth?
What if this day became less about external proof
and more about internal parenting?
How I Support This Work
In my work with clients and students, through nervous system education, somatic healing, and inner child integration, we do not bypass these tender places.
We turn toward them.
We:
• Map activation in the body
• Identify protector patterns that formed around love
• Reparent younger parts with safety and steadiness
• Work with the nervous system to create felt security
• Shift love from performance to embodied presence
We do not shame the longing.
We do not judge the ache.
We learn to sit beside it.
Because when your inner child feels chosen by you, the external world loses its power to define your worth.
Reach out for a free call on how we can bring the inner child into real love.
If This Feels Tender...
Let this be your reminder:
You are not unlovable.
You are not behind.
You are not forgotten.
You are a human being with a nervous system shaped by early experience, living in a culture that monetizes romance.
And you are worthy of love that is steady, safe, and real.
If this season stirs something inside you, you do not have to navigate it alone. The work is not about becoming more lovable.
The work is about remembering that you already are.
I love you.
Priya
P.S. If you’re noticing activation around love, attachment, or your inner child, this is exactly the kind of work we gently explore together.